Why am I passionate about this?

After a decade writing advertising for airlines and beer, I found myself working as a freelance radio producer for thousands of radio broadcasts for Chuck Colson, Josh McDowell, Fathers.com, Heritage Foundation, and Voice of the Martyrs. Later, I reinvented myself as a national speaker and best-selling author of 25+ books including 52 Things Kids Need from a Dad, Don’t Take the Bait to Escalate, and What If God Wrote Your Bucket List? with sales approaching one million copies. My wife Rita and I live near Chicago, where we raised five awesome kids, loved on ten foster babies, and are cherishing grandparenthood.


I wrote

52 Things Wives Need from Their Husbands: What Husbands Can Do to Build a Stronger Marriage

By Jay Payleitner,

Book cover of 52 Things Wives Need from Their Husbands: What Husbands Can Do to Build a Stronger Marriage

What is my book about?

Hey guys. Remember that girl you married? Remember how she caught your eye? The girl you couldn’t keep your hands…

Shepherd is reader supported. When you buy books, we may earn an affiliate commission.

The books I picked & why

Book cover of The Five Love Languages

Jay Payleitner Why did I love this book?

My love language is “Words of Encouragement.” My wife’s love language is “Receiving Gifts.” Now Rita and I might have figured that out eventually, but this book gets right to the point. Gary Chapman doesn’t need a plug from me. I think that book has sold a gazillion copies. Still, if you haven’t read it, make this your next book purchase. It’ll change your perspective on relationships. And get your more smooches, guaranteed. Guys, you definitely want to figure out your bride’s love language.

By Gary Chapman,

Why should I read it?

5 authors picked The Five Love Languages as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Through fun-filled presentations before a live audience, Gary Chapman helps you identify your personal love language. He also helps you understand the love language of your spouse.


Book cover of Becoming Your Spouse's Better Half: Why Differences Make a Marriage Great

Jay Payleitner Why did I love this book?

This book delivers solid ideas on a successful marriage from a man’s perspective. Johnson’s approach may feel a little old-fashioned, where the man is the strong provider and the woman is the nurturer and she even has power over him because of her feminine wiles. But you know what? It works! Let’s face it, men and women have different world views and priorities. Johnson’s style is sly, fun, and relatable.

By Rick Johnson,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Becoming Your Spouse's Better Half as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

It's no secret that men and women are different. And it's no secret that they don't always get along because of these differences, even when they love each other. But having a successful marriage is not about finding the perfect person to marry. It's about loving someone in an unselfish, Christlike manner. Whatever we want out of marriage--unconditional love, forgiveness, passion--that is what we have to give to our spouse. Rick Johnson shows couples how to go beyond merely tolerating each other's differences to using those God-given differences to add spice and passion to their relationship.


Book cover of For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women

Jay Payleitner Why did I love this book?

This book is research-driven. But that doesn't mean it’s dry and dusty. Just the opposite! You can expect to pick up at least a dozen practical bits of advice or information you will use in your marriage and will even come in handy in any situation when you are interacting with the women. You’ll enjoy the conversational down-to-earth style, and walk away with real-life revelations that really will help you better understand women, and your wife in particular. You’ll find yourself in the doghouse less frequently and for a shorter duration. And she’ll snuggle up to you more often seemingly for no reason at all.

By Shaunti Feldhahn, Jeff Feldhahn,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked For Men Only as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

“Shaunti and Jeff have unearthed a treasure chest of insights—eye-opening and life-changing.”
—Andy Stanley, senior pastor, North Point Community Church

Finally, you can understand her!

If you’re like most men, you’ve burned up lots of energy trying to figure out what a woman wants, what makes her tick, how to make her happy. 

The good news: success is simpler than you ever thought.  In their groundbreaking classic, For Men Only, Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn reveal the eye-opening truths and simple acts that will radically improve your relationship with the woman you love. For example:
• Why she can’t “just not…


Book cover of Every Man's Marriage: An Every Man's Guide to Winning the Heart of a Woman

Jay Payleitner Why did I love this book?

This book will have you building toward a brighter future as a couple based on biblical principles. The author challenges conventional wisdom in some churches such as the belief that a man is "master" over his wife. While scripture does say, "wives, submit to your husband,” there’s much more to that idea. The verse goes on to say, "husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church." This means a husband should sacrifice himself completely to his bride, putting her needs before his own, living for a higher purpose, and eventually submitting his very life to her.

Be prepared to do some self-examination. And expect honest commentary on "taboo" subjects such as sex, pornography, and gender stereotypes.

By Stephen Arterburn, Fred Stoeker,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Every Man's Marriage as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

What every man wishes he knew about what his wife desires most.

Authors Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker believe that every man can meet the secret desires of his wife. The problem is, most of us aren't exactly sure what that desire is and how we can go about fulfilling it faithfully.

In Every Man's Marriage, you can discover the common misconceptions about what it means to exercise biblical authority and understand the role of submission in the marriage relationship. This groundbreaking book can help men grasp and apply essential but often overlooked principles for marital leadership.

Through candid reflections…


Book cover of Husband On Purpose: Your 30 Day Action Plan to Become a Better Man and Build a Better Marriage

Jay Payleitner Why did I love this book?

Men need to take responsibility for their marriage and family. And sometimes you need a plan. While the book seems to jump around a bit thematically, there’s a ton of great insight and even step-by-step instructions on making changes that need to be made. I guarantee, several passages in this book will jump out as things you had never previously considered. After studying your wife and working on your communication skills for the recommended 30 days, you may even suddenly feel as if you can read your wife’s mind! It’s an easy read and puts the ball in your hands and the ball in your court. Right where it needs to be. Men you can do this!

By II A. Conrad Deas,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Husband On Purpose as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

"A step by step blueprint that can quickly transform your marriage..." - Hal Elrod Author of The Miracle Morning Book Series
Are you the man and husband you decided to be? Or did you drift to this point mostly on autopilot?
If you aren't the best husband you can be -- but you'd like to be -- read this book.
"Most of us get married on purpose... then we end up being a husband on accident."
This book lays out specific action steps to help you Love Your Wife On Purpose, EXACTLY the way she wants to be loved.
Impossible?…


Explore my book 😀

52 Things Wives Need from Their Husbands: What Husbands Can Do to Build a Stronger Marriage

By Jay Payleitner,

Book cover of 52 Things Wives Need from Their Husbands: What Husbands Can Do to Build a Stronger Marriage

What is my book about?

Hey guys. Remember that girl you married? Remember how she caught your eye? The girl you couldn’t keep your hands off. The girl that taught you to love in brand new ways. Romantic love. Committed love. Crazy love. Eternal love. Where did that girl go?

She’s right there. Sharing your life. Sharing your bed. And she’s asking the same question. “Where did that boy go?” Husbands, your wife needs you to choose her all over again. To be the knight in shining armor. The leader. The listener. The lover. I promise no chapter will make you feel guilty or criticize men for acting like men! Want less nagging and more sex? You are now officially on the right track.

You might also like...

The Open Road

By M.M. Holaday,

Book cover of The Open Road

M.M. Holaday Author Of The Open Road

New book alert!

Why am I passionate about this?

I grew up a fan of an evening news segment called “On the Road with Charles Kuralt.” Kuralt spotlighted upbeat, affirmative, sometimes nostalgic stories of people and places he discovered as he traveled across the American landscape. The charming stories he told were only part of the appeal; the freedom and adventure of being on the open road ignited a spark that continues to smolder. Some of my fondest memories from childhood are our annual family road trips, and I still jump at the chance to drive across the country.

M.M.'s book list on following the open road to discover America

What is my book about?

Head West in 1865 with two life-long friends looking for adventure and who want to see the wilderness before it disappears. One is a wanderer; the other seeks a home he lost. The people they meet on their journey reflect the diverse events of this time period–settlers, adventure seekers, scientific expeditions, and Indigenous peoples–all of whom shape their lives in significant ways.

This is a story of friendship that casts a different look on a time period which often focuses only on wagon trains or gunslingers.

The Open Road

By M.M. Holaday,

What is this book about?

After four years of adventure in the frontier, Win Avery returns to his hometown on the edge of the prairie and tracks down his childhood friend, Jeb Dawson. Jeb has just lost his parents, and, in his efforts to console him, Win convinces his friend to travel west with him―to see the frontier before it is settled, while it is still unspoiled wilderness.

They embark on a free-spirited adventure, but their journey sidetracks when they befriend Meg Jameson, an accomplished horsewoman, lost on the Nebraska prairie. Traveling together through the Rocky Mountain foothills, they run into Gray Wolf, an Arapaho…


5 book lists we think you will like!

Interested in Christianity, marriage, and life satisfaction?

Christianity 679 books
Marriage 131 books
Life Satisfaction 224 books